


Breakthrough

by afifthdimension



Category: Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:14:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25143730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afifthdimension/pseuds/afifthdimension
Summary: She can't be expected to wait forever, can she?A look into how difficult it is to form a relationship when both people are scared to take the leap. It's easy when nothing changes, but it hurts to stay the same. Yet it's better than risking what is good and stable in a life that has been anything but.In the end, living in regret would hurt the most.
Relationships: Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife
Comments: 5
Kudos: 38





	Breakthrough

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this after being inspired by Repeat After Me by The Weeknd.
> 
> (And while it's manipulative and gross) Feelings are feelings sometimes. We say things in the heat of the moment.

Cloud’s deliveries have been keeping him away for longer periods of time. For weeks he's been coming back in the middle of the night and leaving soon after.   
  


Tifa hardly sees him when he _is_ home. She’s lonely and tired of waiting.   
  


That’s what Berret tells him in a hushed tone as Tifa serves her new boyfriend food and drinks, leaving Barret to get him a glass.   
  


_He_ sits on the complete opposite side of the bar from Cloud. He’s outgoing, and funny if Tifa’s laughter is anything to go by. He smiles at her, obviously smitten with Tifa. But who isn’t around here?  
  


For the first time in years, he’s jealous. He feels so childish because of it.  
  


“Grip that glass more and you're gonna cut yourself.”, Berret warns. “You couldn’t expect her to wait for your hard-boiled ass forever.”  
  


His friend jokes but he’s not in the mood. He practically drops the glass on the bar, almost spills the drink entirely. Tifa doesn’t even notice.  
  


Berret sighs and leaves him to tell the kids goodnight.   
  


His growing bad mood only increases the insecurity he's always felt around Tifa. Berret’s right. He never thought he was worthy of Tifa, why would she wait for him anyway?   
  


But why would she pick _this_ asshole?  
  


He’s had too much to drink. Barret can’t make drinks like Tifa, so the spike of alcohol is high.  
  


_She picked him because he’s everything you’re not.  
  
_

Cloud doesn’t know all the details because he’s hardly around to eat and sleep, much less know about Tifa’s personal life. And honestly, he doesn’t really want to know.  
  


She leans against the bar, a shy smile on her face and she listens to whatever he’s going on about.  
  


Tifa has to know that he’s watching, they both have to. He’s boiling now.   
  


She wouldn’t do this to make him jealous. Not with the vague way he’s always showed feelings for her.   
  


_But really is she any better?  
  
_

The thought makes Cloud pause. He’s being irrational. Tifa’s the best, she puts up with him, helps him with work, helped him form long-lasting friendships, a family, a place to call home.  
  


But he can’t help the underlying feeling of jealously. It’s the jealousy that brings out the worst of him. If she cares about him so much, why not tell him about this guy. They're friends, aren't they?  
  


She’s not exactly keeping it a secret. And it’s not his place to tell her what to do.   
  


_But how could she?  
  
_

The guy leaves. And Cloud also has to go before he does or says something he regrets.  
  


He’s walking up the first few steps when Tifa bids him goodnight. There are still some stragglers at the bar. He nods and hurries as fast as his tired body will take him.  
  


* * *

  
Another day when he comes home he’s more stressed than usual. The last delivery was late and put him in a tight spot in his schedule.   
  


Berret leads him to the back room where the small kitchen hides behind all the extra bottles and supplies.  
  


They eat with the kids. Tifa is nowhere to be seen. A quick thought that he has to push away tells him that she’s off on a date.  
  


It’s been a week since he last saw her. Or heard her tell him ‘Goodnight’.  
  


“When is Tifa coming back? She said she’d cut my hair.”, Marlene pouts as she eats her soup.   
  


“She said she’d be back by 10. I think you should be in bed by then.”, Berret tries to be gruff but everyone at the table knows he’s going to give in.  
  


And just as Marlene is about to convince her father to let her stay up, Tifa walks in. All dressed up in a red dress. Cloud’s mouth nearly drops, she was out on a date.  
  


But her tear-streaked cheeks cause him to worry. He stands up so fast the dinner table shakes, “What did he do to you?”, his instinct to protect her is such a reflex, his mind has to catch up to what he's saying and doing.  
  


A choked sob escapes her and she runs upstairs. Cloud’s chest heaves, he goes out to see if the bastard is still outside, and luckily for him, he isn’t.  
  


Cloud takes a moment to let the cool air clear his head. Jealousy and his protectiveness toward Tifa just completely took him over. He has to control these feelings.  
  


She doesn’t let Cloud or anyone into her room that night. And Cloud is on a tight schedule so he has to go in a few hours. He leaves without finding out.   
  


* * *

  
Cloud gets home at a decent hour, the sun is just about to start setting as he walks up toward the Seventh Heaven’s entrance.   
  


She’s running around serving the busy crowd. She doesn’t even give him the smile and wave he’s used to getting when she’s occupied with work.

  
Her being mad and ignoring him is not something new these days. Still hurts though.   
  


Berret is back behind the bar helping out. He serves Cloud his usual and hurries off to fix another drink.  
  


He swishes his drink around lazily. He’d like to quit making deliveries at this point. It used to serve the purpose of giving him alone time. Alone time that used to give him the peace of being moody and self-loathing without anyone forcing him to fix those feelings.  
  
  
He’d be lying if he said the guilt and insecurity didn’t still eat him up sometimes. Definitely more manageable, but no not gone.

  
He has Tifa, the kids, and the rest of their friends to thank for what progress he's made. His plans were to stop taking up any new jobs but they keep piling up. Work has become a burden.   
  
_  
This one will be the last. No, this one will. Or maybe this one?  
_

 _  
He _walks in, sitting at his usual, on the other side of the bar. He waves off Barret with a smile, probably telling him that he’ll wait for Tifa.  
  
  
Cloud doesn’t even know his name. 

  
_Doesn't care about my input.  
_

_  
_ He thinks as he spots her rushing over to hug him. That makes Cloud freeze. When did they get so friendly? Didn’t he hurt her feelings that other night? 

  
He almost breathes out a sigh of relief when the man says his goodbyes for the night. No kiss for her, no acknowledgment of Cloud. It scares Cloud what he would’ve done if he did.   
  


* * *

_  
He _was her last customer. And in the quiet of closing time, he can hear their conversation.

  
“Want me to kick him out?”, he jokes as she cleans up after him.

  
“Cloud?”, She thinks she speaks softly enough for him not to hear her. “He lives here.”

_  
Yeah, get the fuck out. _

  
The grip on his glass tightens as he realizes that Tifa has neglected to tell _him_ that he lives here.

  
“Oh.”, he answers, not sounding very pleased about it. 

  
She moves on to the rest of the bar to clean. The guy takes the hint and tells her goodbye. 

  
“Done?”, she asks for his glass, he nods and she moves toward the sink to wash it.

  
“You’re quieter than usual.”, she forces a casual tone. 

_  
So it’s hard to talk to me now? _

  
“Was thinking about calling you all night... You have to come earlier, Cloud.”

  
The way his chest clenches at worrying her hurts. He’s fueled by jealousy and alcohol. He should just nod and head off to get ready for bed but, he doesn’t.

  
“Do you always think about me when you’re with him?”

  
“What?”, Tifa stops to stare at him, his glass almost falling out of her hands and into the sink with the shock. She turns back around, finishes washing the rest of the dishes, tense. When she’s done she turns back to him, annoyed.

  
“I said, do you always-“

  
“Oh, I know what you said. But you have no right to tell me that.”, Cloud thinks she’s very close to yelling at him. Deep down he’s sorry to hurt her.

  
But it's too late to back down now, he shrugs, “I don’t think you like him more than a friend.”

  
“And how would you know that?”, She nears him, the bar being the only thing between them. “You think I was going to be happy just waiting for you to come _whenever_?”

  
He feels that one, she confirms it, it’s out in the open now, “No, but I thought you’d at least talk to me-“

  
“Talk to you! When, Cloud? At 2 in the morning when you come home exhausted? Or at 5 in the morning the next day when you leave again?”

  
“Yes.”, he fights back. It makes no sense, he’s running on emotions now.

  
Tifa’s laugh is bitter, “And ask permission? Cloud, I’ve been so patient, and we’re not going to talk about this now. You’re-“

  
“I’m what?”, he’s definitely had too much to drink, “You don’t love him. I’m right, you wouldn’t be this angry if I was wrong.”

  
“So what? What would you do about it?”, she storms off but Cloud chases after her into the back room.

  
Tifa whips around, furious. His chest is fully hammering now, “I think about you every single day.”, her eyes soften at his confession. Probably the most concrete thing he's ever said to her.   
  
  
“It’s too late to have this conversation.”, she crosses her arms, shielding herself from him. He gets closer. “And stop trying to manipulate me.”  
  


“I know I’ve taken advantage of your patience. But I’m not gonna sit back and watch you be with someone you don’t really -“

  
“And what are you going to do about it?”, she repeats. “I still care about you but I’m not going to wait around until-“

  
Cloud contemplates kissing her, but she’ll just lash out at him. So he thinks he’ll do something crazier, “I love you.”. The second the words are said leaves him feeling exposed. 

  
Tifa didn’t expect him to say that, but after the initial shock she shrugs, “I knew that. Hardly changes things.”

  
Cloud shuts up after that, her words stab at his chest. He deserves it. He backs up slowly, planning how best to run away. But she grabs him by the arm.

  
“You can’t guilt me like this!”, she’s crying now, because of him. “You want me? Act like it.” 

  
He feels his back press against the wall. He feels all his self-doubt bubble up. The alcohol doesn’t let him overcome this, it amplifies it. “What for?”

  
Tifa steps away immediately, tears don’t look like they’ll stop anytime soon, “See?”, she wraps her arms around herself, “I can’t stay here.”, she turns and rushes up the stairs.  
  
Cloud doesn’t know how long he stands there beating himself up and overthinking. He only comes back to the planet when he catches Tifa running down with a night bag.

  
“You're going to _him_?”, his anger is back, “You don’t know him.”

  
“ _You_ don’t know him!”

  
“He hurts you.”, his chest heaves in frustration.

  
“No. I hurt him.”, she cries, “I hurt him because all I think about is _you_.”, she tries to force the words out in anger but her voice comes out soft and hurt.  
  


Cloud almost has her hand. But she still runs out the door.   
  


* * *

  
He feels like shit.   
  
  
It rained the whole ride back, he’s drenched and he’s pretty sure that he’s close to passing out. He shakes off as much water as he can before stepping into the bar from the back room.   
  
  
It’s nearly 4 in the morning, he’s surprised to see Tifa at the dining table. The worry on her face tells him that she waited all night for him. Without a word she lifts the towel she was hugging and wraps him in it. Drying all the cold rain off his face and brushing the towel over his hair.   
  
  
“Dinner's in the fridge. Go shower first.”, she slurs, sleepy and serious.   
  
  
“I’m sorry for coming home so late.”, he says, trying to convey all his apologies to this one.   
  
  
She takes a big breath and sighs, “I know.”   
  
  
“Go to bed.”, he strips off his jacket. He's caused her enough trouble tonight.   
  
  
She looks like she’s going to disagree but then she nods. Leads the way up the stairs and heads into her room without a goodnight.   
  
  
During his shower, he thinks over their conversation. He should have actually apologized to her. She’s right, he’s been an ass to her. Manipulating her, guilt-tripping her because he can’t tell her how much he cares about her.   
  
  
But she knows that. That’s why she didn’t bring it up just now. It took a while, but she knows him so well now. It’s made him lazy in communicating with her. He doesn't have to explain himself to her, she just knows why he does and says things.   
  
  
And it goes both ways. She’s not one to push him too hard, she’s afraid of him running away in fear of losing what’s comfortable and understood. That, they can both agree on.   
  
  
The hot water running over his body is starting to cool, he better hurry. He finishes up and gets dressed for bed.   
  
  
His stomach growls as he walks back down the stairs. He warms up his food and sits down for what he hopes is the quickest dinner he’s ever had.   
  
  
It’s his favorite, he’s never told Tifa this, but she knows it somehow. He's almost done when his head becomes to heavy to keep up, sleep threatening to take him. He cleans up and drags his feet back upstairs.   
  
  
He rubs at one of his eyes as he walks into his room, then stops in the doorway. There she sits on his bed, her fingers fidgeting as she stares up at him.   
  
  
“Mind if I sleep here tonight?”, she asks, her voice soft.  
  
  
He closes the door just as softly. Who’s he to say no.   
  
  
She moves deeper into his bed snuggling into his blankets. His chest feels too small for whatever is bursting with emotion in there.   
  
  
He takes too long apparently because she pats the spot next to her. Maybe it’s all a dream or a lack of sleep. He reaches over for the lamp and turns it off before joining her.   
  
  
He can feel her warmth even with a decent amount of space between them. He hears the small gasp that comes out of his mouth as she crawls closer, pressing her face into his chest.   
  
  
He’s sure she can hear the hammering against her ear now. One of her arms wraps around his waist. Cloud has to imagine it’s just a hug, they’ve shared those before.   
  
His arms wrap around her, in a loose hug just in case she wants to leave. And he really doesn’t have the strength for anything else.   
  
As he starts losing the battle against sleep, he feels her press a single kiss against his cheek before settling back. It wakes him up just enough to return the kiss, pressing his lips against her forehead.   
  
Everything is warm and comfortable, and then he’s asleep.  
  
  


* * *

  
The sun shines, waking him up. But the feeling of her body shifting against his is what opens his eyes.   
  
  
"Morning.", she greets shyly. Her cheek rests against his chest, she looks at him, still half asleep. The sunlight still a little warm, casts a glow over her.   
  
  
"Morning.", he slurs back, still not fully awake. He brushes the smaller strands of her hair away from her face. Her eyes close pleasantly as his fingers trace her jaw, her cheek. "Sorry I've been an ass."  
  
  
He traces the small smile on her lips before she speaks, "I know you are. And I'm sorry for being short with you."  
  
  
"I deserved it.", he frowns, following her eyes, even as she scoots herself up higher. Her chest pressing against his.   
  
  
"I don't want to live with regret. Wondering what could have happened if we ever had this conversation...", one of her hands meets his, their fingers easily intertwining, "I love you too. I want you, even though we drive each other crazy."  
  
  
It's his turn to smile. He props himself up, his lips press lightly against her cheek. "I love you, Tifa.", he can't say anymore. All the emotion hammering in his chest makes it hard to form any of it into words.   
  
  
That and her lips against his. Soft and warm, moving gracefully against his.   
  
  
Later he'll try to form the words that will let her know how truly sorry he is. And what he'll do to change and be better for her.   
  
  
But for now, he cradles her face and pours all those emotions into this kiss. 


End file.
